The Gnomes and what they do
Fun Fact
The land of Gardonia, while experiencing all four seasons to some degree, is quite temperate allowing crops to be grown year-round.
Vegetable Farming
Farming and gardening is hands-down the most common and loved practice among gnomes—they take great care and pride in the growing and caring of their vegetables and flowers. While almost every gnome gardens to some degree, there are many independent farmsteads throughout the land that grow large quantities of crops mainly to be sold at markets, both at home and abroad. Larger farmsteads require the work of many gnomes to maintain and quite often pay workers in produce. There are a few places in the land, mostly in the east, where there are many large farms close to one another and the landscape is dominated by vast fields. Small hamlets often spring up in these areas as many gnomes enjoy going out and working the land, often adopting to personally care for a particular parcel of land on a farm
Some of the most commonly-grown vegetables in the kingdom include: cabbage, lettuce, turnips, hops, barley, beans, cucumbers, corn, potatoes and, of course, carrots, but all manner of plant and vegetable can be found throughout the land.
Mushrooms are considered a delicacy and are mainly foraged as they have been found difficult to grow, especially since the Great Mushroom Blight of 2581. Only a few successful farms exist and their cultivation methods are well guarded family secrets. The large mushrooms found throughout the land are edible, but rather tough with a woody taste and so not often eaten.
Fun Fact
The land of Gardonia, while experiencing all four seasons to some degree, is quite temperate allowing crops to be grown year-round.
Animal Farming
Gnomes don’t farm or herd many species of animal that one would typically think of when talking of farms. Most animals being much much larger than a gnome makes keeping them under control a rather difficult task. After the south pass was opened a few attempts were made to herd cattle. They all ended with the cows breaking out of their pastures and getting into gardens before eventually moseying off into the wild. There are a number of pygmy goat ranches in the land and many gnomes own a goat or two. The goats are mostly used to pull carts and plows or as pack animals, or for milk and not raised for eating. Quail, growing to a foot and a half in height have taken the role of chickens in Gardonia. A line of wild boars, with great difficulty, was also domesticated, and they are one of the ingredient in the gnome’s world famous sausages.
There are also many bug farms in the land. Ladybugs are cultivated and will be carted to farms that are experiencing problems with aphids or other plant plaguing bugs. Several honeybee farms have been established, though it is a dangerous job as a single sting from a four-inch stinger can potentially be deadly and a swarm of angry bees can take out an entire crew of farm hands. There are also several species of beetles raised for their oil and other various ingredients and worms for silk, though as a whole bug husbandry is in the decline. Many of the materials used from bugs have fallen to the wayside as iron has become available from salvaged Furgol gear and trading and the smaller amounts of bug based materials still in use are easily gathered by the many trappers and hunters from the plentiful numbers of bugs in the wild.
Tinkering
Tinkering and inventing is another popular practice of the gnomes. Never far from a mug of ale, many inventions of the gnomes end up being over engineered and not all that practical, even though they seem like a good idea at the time. But that is not to say tinkerers haven’t created many impressive things that are used all over the Great Kingdom of Gardonia and by many of the different races in the surrounding lands. If you make enough of anything, some of them are bound to be useful. A few notable inventions include the impressive Wheel Ship, the Crank Chopper (coming in five up to twenty blade variations), the Autosythe, the Perpetual Spaghetti machine, the Yarn-detangler, the Oblongozphere, the Sheep Peeler 200/automatic mutton roaster (originally designed as a wool-shearing device), the Gizmotronic Scarecrow (with flamespitting option available), the ever-popular Crongket, the Zoggelgear, the rivet (or so they claim), the Diggerator, the Tinkrit (now in XL for humans), the Periscope hat and The Super Comfy Pillow. A larger mattress version is in the works but there have been delays due to firmness issues vs breathability.
Gnomes also seem to have a knack for making very precisely-crafted and reliable small mechanisms and intricate gear systems, and they are often sought after by people abroad. For example, replacing one’s crossbow trigger mechanism with a gnomish variant seems to make for smoother operation and fewer misfires.
Brewing
Being particularly fond of beer, half of the Golden Valley region and a good number of other fields have been devoted to growing barley and hops for brewing. Many gnome brewers excel at the craft, and master brewers are some of the most respected gnomes in the land.
Being natural tinkers and meddlers, there was a dark time in brewing history when there were countless upstarts using questionable new additives and brewing methods in an attempt to make the ultimate drink that stood above all others, often meeting with disastrous and deadly effects. The high council finally put a stop to brewing and banned it outright for a time when the death toll reached into the hundreds. Now with strict rules for brewing, especially for exported beer, the trade is thriving once again and the mortality rate is back to acceptable levels.
Beer is Gardonia’s most popular export known the world over and the second-most exported commodity after vegetables.
Sausage Making
Master Sausageers of the gnomish sausage industry are held in as high esteem as Master Brewers. The sausage industry really took off after the south trade routes were opened up and the surrounding peoples went crazy for the gnomes’ delicious links. Sausages are the gnome’s third-largest export. To keep up with demand, meat is the second largest import for the gnomes.
Trapping, Hunting & Foraging
There are many strange—and not so strange—plants and bugs growing and living in the land of Gardonia that are not easily cultivated or farmed that have been found to have many useful parts and properties or are just darn tasty. Resins, glues, dyes, decorations, medical ingredients, greases, oils and food additives to name a few have been made from various critters and vegetation living and growing throughout the land. There are a few gnomes who make their livelihood wandering off the beaten path, foraging, hunting and trapping. In the South Carrot Mires, the accidentally introduced Bellow Toads who have grown to monstrous sizes within a few short generations have taken over the swamp lands and are hunted and trapped for their skins and giant delicious legs, which are mostly exported. Now with iron becoming more readily available, many materials made from plants and critters are less in demand and the trade is not what it once was.
Mining and Blacksmithing
Unlike their distant cousins the Gnomes of Gardonia don’t love mining. In the year 2706, the gnomes exploring in the mountains beyond the eastern bounds of their kingdom came across a small human mining colony. The miners had ceased to venture further west of their settlement as early prospectors had witnessed strange events and encountered giant bugs and swarms of little, clammy creatures that issued out of the caves and they had decided the land was not for them. The gnomes began trading with the mining colony, exchanging metal items for vegetables and beer, even though the mountain path was narrow and dangerous. Some of the miners visiting the gnome kingdom by way of the east mountain paths had noted a few mountains that they thought could hold ore and were given permission to mine them. They made an arrangement that the miners would mine and smelt any ore found and in exchange they could keep the majority of gems and precious stones they found as well as a portion of the ore. A handful of gnomes were taught to forge and work metal and men from the colony helped the gnomes set up smithies where they make various tools, nails, and smaller items as well as gears and random shaped metal things that tinkerers and inventors request. The forge in North-South Town is the largest gnome forge and makes many of the weapons and helmets used by the Mushroom Knights, though if a knight wants an item of higher quality or particular design they will generally have it made by smiths outside of the kingdom.
Official Time Keeper
Before the invention of the hourglass, timing of events was kept by highly trained gnomes who ate parsnips at a controlled rate. Times were recorded in parsnips based on how many the time keeper ate during the event being timed. Average sized parsnips were used where the time keeper took a bite and then chewed at very precise speed. There are twelve bites per parsnip and fifty chews (called nunches due to the sound the eaters make) per bite. Every thirty parsnips, the time keeper would be switched out to allow the previous one to digest. With fifty nunches (which include the bite taking and swallow counted as one apiece), to a bite and twelve bites to a parsnip official time records are in parsnips, bites and nunches, recorded such as eight, five and twenty-one. Since the invention of the hourglass, there has been less of a need for parsnip eaters, though official time records are still measured in parsnips. As it takes decades to train an official parsnip eater, the career is highly respected.
Various Trades
As with any people group there are many other trades that make up a well-rounded civilization. Bakers, stone masons, leather workers, tailors, wood workers, cooks and tavern keeps to name a few, though most gnomes are capable of the basics and many simple household items and clothing are home made. There was an attempt to start a gnomish fashion industry, but most gnomes prefer practical working clothes and gnomish design never took off with the other races around Gardonia.
Wise Gnomes
Living within hollowed out rooms carved into the Great Carrot itself and huts on its top is a community of really smart gnomes—the Wise Gnomes. Wise Gnomes spend their days studying the Great Carrot and the mysteries of the universe. The Wise Gnomes are highly respected within gnomish society though they are seldom seen far from the Great Carrot, or their smaller community in the far east of the kingdom. Gnomes found to have an aptitude for science and intrigue are brought to the Great Carrot to apprentice under the Wise Gnomes becoming Wise Gnomes themselves after their apprenticeship is completed.
