meet Gardonia’s
Finest
The best of the Order and their amazing deeds
Rizben Beansteeler
Age: 450
Rank: Sergeant
Weapons: Spear, Sword & Shield
Insignia: Crossed Antlers
Usually found: Tangled Plateau
Rizben comes from a family of bean farmers with a bit of a shady past. The Beansteelers got their start during the illegal bean trade that sprang up 1800 years ago after a great fire swept through the Tangled Plateau in the north east of Gardonia, destroying many, many crops and bean stores. This was followed by the King’s edict that all beans should be sent to the capitol for his personal consumption, and thus shady bean dealings ensued. When Rizben’s great grampy was killed during a bean exchange that turned sour, his grampy took over and brought the family business above board, which seemed like the right thing to do, especially as the king’s temporary bean edict had by then been abolished for over 100 years.
Rizben was happy to follow in the footsteps of his father and grampy until one day when he watched his uncle get run down by a herd of deer as he tried to chase them out of the family beanyard. Rizben was horrified and joined the Mushroom Knights vowing to seek revenge. He fashioned a spear from his uncle’s bean crook and volunteered for farm patrol as often as he could, where his methods of deer deterrent proved to be most lethal and he racked up the highest deer count of any knight ever.
Eventually his enthusiasm for dispatching deer caught the attention of his superiors and Rizben was assigned to a detachment of Mushroom Knights tasked with hunting down an enormous, hideous deer that had been plaguing farms in the Leafy Green Flats. The giant crop nibbler came to be known as the Dread Deer, as it had already trampled and gored three separate squads of Mushroom Knights sent to end its mad niblings. The brute turned out to be very elusive, and it took several months before very early one morning Rizben and a section of knights were able to surround it as it uncaringly grazed away on a patch of helpless lettuces. Crossbows twanged, spears were hurtled and gnomes charged. But the monster’s hide was thick. It seemed not to notice the bolts that hit it and the spears that stuck in its hide did little more than anger it. The Dread Deer stamped and charged, flinging gnomes this way and that with its twisted, hideous antlers. But Rizben, remembering his uncle, was seeing red, he charged the brute head on ducking a kick of a monstrous hoof and stuck his trusty spear between two ribs sinking it deep into the beast’s side. The remaining Knights renewed their attack and poked and stabbed and slashed at the beast. The monster turned and fled with Rizben still holding onto the spear and crashed into the nearby woods. When the Mushroom Knights finally caught up with the fallen beast with a broken spear sticking from its side, they found a bruised and battered Rizben still attacking it with his sword and yelling gibberish at it. With great effort they were able to pull him away and he eventually calmed down. The Dreaded deer was dead, countless greens had been saved and Rizben finally felt his uncle had been avenged. Rizben was promoted to Sergeant for his deed and the Dread Deer’s head is on display in the Hall of Deeds in Kingstown.
When not on active duty Rizben’s new hobby—at the insistence of his wife—is trying to figure out what to do with the piles of antlers around his home.
Wextin “Ironstache” Goodrow
Age: 578
Rank: Captain
Weapons: Sword & Shield
Insignia: Moustache
Usually found: Cornlands
Wexton has the finest moustache in all the Mushroom Knight army. He comes from a family of cabbage farmers turned professional plow-riders, who pride themselves in their perfectly straight and superbly spaced, tilled rows.
Wexton applied this learned attention to detail to his personal grooming and before long he was recognized for his amazingly kempt facial hair. When he was 230, he was invited to the kingdoms “Mr. Moustache” competition where he took the crowds by surprise by winning first place in his very first competition. Over the next 140 years he went on to win an impressive 77 times, including a streak of 25 years in a row, the longest in the competition’s history, and married the 3409 “Miss Gnomer” beauty pageant winner, the sweetheart Willow-lyn Daisypot, making them one of the handsomest gnomish couples in all the kingdom. They lived together happily in Northcobfield for many years until an unfortunate day when Willow-lyn was carried off by a horde of thieving Cobbies, veggie basket and all, while she was on her way to market. Wexton was heartbroken to say the least and didn’t comb his moustache for two whole days. He found some back alley traders and was on his way home with a bottle of hard truffle extract when he passed a Mushroom Knights recruitment booth and had a change of mind. He returned the extract to the traders for a full refund, combed his stache and signed up to defend the kingdom. He stopped competing professionally when he enlisted, but his still fine, famous stache brings inspiration to both knights and citizens wherever he goes.
During the vicious battle of Cobb Hill Wexton and his squad were able to fight their way through the angry Cobbie ranks where the greatness of his moustache rallied a demoralized and faltering Mushroom Knight force to victory and many great deeds. His moustache’s instrumental presence in the battle earned Wexton a promotion to Captain and his moustache was awarded a medal. Shortly after becoming captain, Wexton was sent to the south where he had a very close call during a border skirmish with bandits where he lost a few precious whiskers. After the battle he had a special iron helmet fashioned that would keep his award-winning facial hair both safe and perfectly kempt. After that he was dubbed “Ironstache” and has worn the name proudly ever since.
Wexton is always up an hour before reveille and goes to bed an hour after lights out to keep his moustache in top order.
Riztogg Grassstalker
Age: 466
Rank: Captain
Weapons: Crossbow, sword & buckler
Insignia: Butterfly
Usually found: Wherever
The Grassstalkers are a family of foragers and Riztogg is well acquainted with the bounties and dangers of the tall grass forests. He spent much time as a youth hunting useful bugs or shooting down hard to reach clusters of Gnomble Berries and such with a homemade slingshot that he thought up in a dream.
When Riztogg’s exceedingly wealthy great uncle Gomber Hopsleaf passed away leaving no heir, his family inherited the illustrious Hopsleaf estate in the Golden Valley and moved there to manage the hops plantation. Riztogg joined the Mushroom Knights shortly after the move to get away from his growing fame just for living in the estate.
When the Mushroom Knights began introducing crossbows into their arsenal, Riztogg‘s aiming fundamentals and accuracy developed with his slingshot saw him do rather quite well. Riztogg quickly began earning a reputation as a respected marksman when during the “introduction to crossbows” section of Second Year Garden Defence Training, the students all fired three bolts at a target which saw him be the only one to even score a hit on a target and he hit it twice—the last one being almost right in the bullseye. To be fair to everyone, it was before morning coffee rations and the first time they had all touched a crossbow. Years later, just after earning the rank of sergeant, Riztogg was summoned along with a handful of other knights to the Kingstown garrison for a marksmanship competition. He scored 7 out 10 shots during an otherwise heated competition where the other knights were cheered on loudly to scores of 3 or 4. To be fair to everyone, it was before afternoon beer rations and they all seemed a bit off that day. For his victory, Riztogg was given a small brass trophy as well as the command of the Mushroom Knight’s newly-formed crossbow company, which came with a promotion to Captain to make it official.
Taking his new command seriously Riztogg is very active in promoting the Mushroom Knights Crossbow Company, actively seeking new members as well as developing the training manuals “What is a Crossbow and Why Should You Care?” “How to Load a Crossbow in Under Four Minutes” “Why Aiming is Important” and “Shooting for the Moon” among others. He has rewritten the curriculum for the Introduction to Crossbows course in Second Year Garden Defence Training and the Advanced Crossbows course in Third Year. He has even brought in some expert human teachers to help with the class.
When a letter was sent to Gardonia inviting the king to send his best Knights and Nobles for a multi-kingdom Skill at Arms tournament, Riztogg went to represent the Mushroom Knights in the marksmanship competition. The event was very fancy with nobles and royalty competing and showing off their skills with various arms and ranged weapons. When Riztogg registered he was mistakenly placed in the children’s category where he cleaned house winning every event and taking home a very fancy crossbow that he clearly wasn’t intended to win. When he returned to Gardonia he had the T&T division tweak the mechanics and increase the poundage and now he has a fancy crossbow fit for a princling that can punch through a Furgol’s breast plate or the shell of a Giant Snail.
When not on active duty Riztogg hunts butterflies for his impressive collection, nearly adding the giant moth “Doom Wing” to it, but the specimen ended up in the Kingstown Hall of Deeds. He keeps his brass trophy on the mantle above his stove in his hometown of Tall Grass.
Razbor Hedgekeeper
Age: 358
Rank: Lieutenant
Weapons: Two-handed Morningstar
Insignia: Rampant Goat
Usually found: Northtown Area
Ramsbor is the son of some shruberists turned adventurous traders who would travel far from the gnomish kingdom of Gardenia taking up residence in various towns and trading in rare shrubberies for several years at a time before moving back home briefly. When Ramsbor was in his 80s and taking on more responsibilities in the family business, he and his parents found themselves living in a human land far away in the city of Tolamane where the mounted knights were renowned as some of the best in the known world. He became fascinated with the chivalrous, brave knights in their heavy plate armour atop their gallant steeds who were very well respected by all the towns folk. He heard tales of their heroic deeds, of the slaying of dragons and monsters, the rescuing of beautiful maidens and of the bravest knights marrying princesses.
One day while minding the family shop a crowd began forming on the street and a procession of knights and rather important looking people came marching down the road. Among the procession was a coach with the most beautiful golden haired maiden Ramsbor had ever seen. She waved and smiled at the crowd as the local townsfolk called out greetings of “Hail princess!” And “Bless you Princess!” As the coach rolled by, the princess’ eyes met Ramsbor’s and she gave him a smile. Instantly Ramsbor fell hopelessly in love and vowed he would marry this beautiful princess. He aspired to become one of the chivalrous knights, earn a name for himself and win the hand of the golden-haired beauty.
When Ramsbor eagerly requested to enlist at the knights local garrison he was told by the captain that since he was neither a citizen nor from a family of high standing he was unfortunately just not able to join their ranks. He was also informed that even if he somehow could join he was far too small to ride the large war horses, which was an essential part of a knight’s role in battle. Disappointed yet undeterred, he sought to join any part of the military where he was determined he would rise through the ranks and prove himself worthy of both being a knight and the princess’ hand. He was turned away time and time again and only once offered a position among the militia soldiers, and that of a page, with no opportunity for advancement.
Eventually Ramsbor’s parents decided it was time to return to Gardenia upon which Ramsbor immediately joined the Mushroom Knights. He worked hard and earned a reputation as being both brave and very chivalrous even among the normally well-behaved and kindly gnomes. Ramsbor sought to join any perilous quest and requested to be stationed in Northtown hoping to slay some terrible beast on par with a dragon that may emerge from the evil pit of Donglemore, thereby earning renown for himself. He quickly rose through the ranks proving his bravery and skill battling many creatures escaping from the dreaded pit.
One evening during the Northtown garrison’s annual talent show, Ramsbor performed the ballad of “The Brave Carrot Seed” for his fellow knights. The performance was so moving and beautifully sung that he was immediately declared the winner, even though it wasn’t a competition, and promoted to Lieutenant. Since that day he has come to be known as The Knight Bard, though it doesn’t promote the gallant knight image he aspires to. After his promotion, Ramsbor had a set of plate armour made in the fashion of the renowned knights of Tolamane and wears a strange non-pointed helmet that his fellow knights think is ungnomely and disapprove of. Now quite often, Ramsbor is asked to perform at various towns and garrisons and to his disappointment, has become known more for his singing than his brave deeds as a knight. The Grand Captain of Northtown is even meeting with the other Grand Captains to discuss the idea of having Ramsbor lead a special bard unit to boost troop morale before battles.
Recently, when the Mushroom Knights began reviving the idea of their own mounted division, Ramsbor eagerly sought to be the first to volunteer for the project and unlike most gnomes he has proven to be not a terrible rider—not great, but not terrible—though his two-handed morningstar is quite awkward to wield from goatback. If the experimental mounted division is successful (and he isn’t assigned to command a bard unit), Ramsbor will be one step closer to the image of the knight he so aspires to be, though truth be told his golden-haired princess was most likely married years ago.
Knizwick Leafherder
Age: 359
Rank: Knight
Weapons: Spear, Sword & Shield
Insignia: Boot
Usually found: Good Garden
Breaking from a long family business of raking fallen leaves when he was 85, Knizwick Leafherder was a Gnomish Postal Service employee for 260 years before he joined the Mushroom Knights, earning many outstanding postgnome awards for his speedy and friendly service. Based in the Kingstown office, he diligently delivered letters and parcels in the capital city and throughout The Good Garden Woods. Once or twice a month he would make a longer trip to one of the branches further away and was always thankful for the Mushroom Knight patrols that kept the roads relatively safe.
One day Knizwick was delivering a letter to one Mrs. M. Marmagold at 512 Amberleaf Lane in the Good Garden Woods. He liked delivering mail to Mrs. Marmagold as she was always baking and would often give him one of her amazing, award-winning minced-carrot tarts. When he arrived at the cottage the door was broken open and Mrs. Marmagold was nowhere to be found. Searching the cottage showed signs of a recent hasty exit out the back door. The kettle was still boiling, and there was a smell of very overdone tarts coming from the oven. Hearing a scream from outside, Knizwick rushed out the back to find Mrs. Marmagold being stuffed into a large sack by a Bogey—a terrifying creature of nightmares and legends. Having only a small letter opener, Knizwick drew it out of his satchel and rushed to the poor gnome lady’s defence. The short, dull blade sank into the Bogey’s side up to the handle, but it was too small to hurt the fiend and Knizwick soon found himself flung aside into Mrs. Marmagold’s vegetable garden crushing several poor plants as he landed. As he attempted to untangle himself from some peas, Knizwick watched helplessly as the Bogey finished stuffing the terrified lady gnome into the sack, threw it over one shoulder and disappeared into the forest. He didn’t even get the chance to give her her letter which was now bent and dirty. He went back into the house and put the envelope on the kitchen table, removed the boiling kettle off the stove and took the now ruined tarts out of the oven all the while, thinking that if only he had a proper sword maybe he could have saved Mrs. Marmagold and been able to give her her mail. He rushed off and reported the kidnapping to the Kingstown garrison and then went straight to the recruiting booth and signed up to join the Mushroom Knights. When the knights heard that Knizwick had faced the terrifying creature many gnomes believed to be only a legend and lived to tell the tale, they were very impressed and thought he must be something special. He was placed directly into Second Year Garden Defence Training, as, after all, he had fought one of the most terrifying creatures rumoured to exist in the known world. All the students were in awe of Knizwick’s feat and held him in high regard during the school year even though he technically was still a recruit. After he graduated from second year school and officially became a Mushroom Knight, Knizwick was awarded the Carrot of Bravery for his incredible deed. The story of his heroic fight with the nightmarish creature became widespread and to this day wherever he goes young knights stare wide-eyed and the seasoned ones come up and shake his hand. There is even a mural in the hall of deeds depicting his epic battle with the Bogey.
Being exceptionally fast with great endurance from his letter-carrying days, Knizwick earned kingdom-wide fame that has even eclipsed his amazing Bogey battle when he shattered all previous records completing the Carrot Run in under 40 parsnips during the 3505 Mushroom Knight Games. The judges, competitors and spectators unanimously agreed that he deserved extra points for the run, which saw him ultimately finish third overall in the competition.
Knizwick has proven to be a very brave and hard working knight. His experience in timely mail delivery saw him heroically and speedily carry important messages between the various squads and companies during the recent Great Slug Invasion in the Leafy Green Flats, even traversing through enemy held territory to summon reinforcements in time for the region’s prize lettuce to be saved against all odds.
When he is not on active duty, Knizwick frequents Mrs. Marmagold’s now-vacant cottage in an attempt to solve the mystery of her very delicious tarts. But always something, some spice or secret ingredient continues to elude him.
Horberk Mogbrew
Age: 521
Rank: Sergeant
Weapons: Spear, Axe & Shield
Insignia: Pie
Usually found: Good Garden
Horberk is descended from a family of disgraced brewers. During the golden age of brewing, which saw the creation of many upstart breweries, questionable ingredients were added to try and give one’s beer an edge, which quickly led to the dark age of brewing. The well-established Goodbrew family also tried to improve upon their beer to keep up with the fierce competition in the trade. While their new brew did have one of the lower mortality rates of the budding industry’s dark past, they did not make a very tasty beer. In fact their beer was deemed sub par even for elf made beer. The family was disbarred from brewing for 3000 years and their name was changed from Goodbrew to Mogbrew. Since then the family has been in the dirt trade, crafting secret blends of finely aged dirt for premium gardens.
While dirt farming is a respectable career, Horberk wishes to see his family’s brewing exile ended so his children can one day take back up the old trade. And so Horberk decided to join the Order of the Mushroom Knights as a way to improve his family name and earn down some of the remaining time of their brewing ban. The plan has been working and Horberk has worked off nearly 700 years during his 200-plus years of service for many outstanding deeds, including saving the King’s birthday pie. When the grandmaster baker Noggel Del Muffinstoffer was commissioned to make a birthday pie for King Beegor’s 550th birthday, he crafted the grandest pie of his illustrious career. The pie was en route from Southforkington to Kingstown when the transport wagon was attacked by a Mugging of Caw birds. The large flock of uncharacteristically aggressive birds had been drawn from far and wide by the pie’s delicious aromas carried on the winds. The winged brutes drove off the wagon driver, the goat team and the pie attendants and were just about to help themselves to a delicious treat when, luckily for the pie, Horberk’s patrol came rushing up. A frantic, feathery fight ensued. The knights were pecked and buffeted and clawed viciously. Two of the patrol fell in the battle and Horberk himself received a nasty gash across his left eye. Making a desperate stand upon the back of the wagon and half blind, the lone knight heroically beat back talon, beak and wing with spear and shield. Luckily for the pie, a vegetable hold was not far off and one of the pie attendants alerted the knights within who came to the scene quickly. Horberk and the knights from the hold were able to repel several aerial attacks during a desperate dash to safety as more and more Caws flew in to join the assault. Eventually the wagon was rolled into the shelter of the hold, leaving a trail of dazed and battered birds along the road behind them. The Caws circled overhead for some time, but eventually the Mugging dispersed and flew off and the pie was safe! Horberk received a medal for his brave actions and was promoted to sergeant and 250 years was struck from his family’s brewing ban (the maximum one time reduction as allowed by the terms of the disbarment). King Beegor declared Horberk’s surname to be changed to Goldbrew, though the knight doesn’t believe their beer ever warranted such a prestigious honour–and his family still has to wait for the ban to be lifted before they can use it. Every year on the king’s birthday, Horberk receives a letter from the king himself, expressing his thanks for that time he saved his tasty birthday pie.
When not on active duty or helping with the dirt farm, Horberk enjoys dozing in the shade of a tree or mushroom with a good book, or kicking around the old bunny skin with his kids. With all of Horberks hard work there is now only 822 years left in the family’s disbarment and hope of living to see his children brew a batch of beer doesn’t seem too impossible anymore.
Gimsprey Morfolbow
Age: 516
Rank: Lieutenant
Weapons: Mace & Shield
Insignia: Truffle
Usually found: Cornlands
Gimsprey comes from a family of lady bug herders. Growing up tending bugs, his family would load them up in wagons and take them to farms experiencing aphid infestations. Gimsprey volunteered with the Mushroom Knights after taking a liking to the shiny armour and weapons–and the pay was better.
After years of service and achieving the rank of sergeant with his own squad to command, he began saving up to have a shiny set of custom armour made when he became a lieutenant. Shortly after his promotion, Gimsprey was assigned to the Cornlands in the north west of the kingdom, near Stalks End, to help protect produce being carted to vegetable holds during the harvest times.
One day Gimsprey and his squad had just finished escorting a wagon of corn and parsnips from Hucksmuff farm and were enjoying lunch and a round of much deserved brew, when he was challenged to a friendly drinking contest by a fellow Sergeant from another squad. Right in the middle of the heated contest while neither gnome showed any signs of wavering, the vegetable hold the knights were relaxing in was suddenly attacked by a large band of gross Cobbies trying to get their clammy hands on the delicious veggies taking sanctuary within. Continuing the contest he also took up the fight with the Cobbies downing another two mugs during the fierce battle all without spilling a single drop. Brandishing only a shield during the attack he bashed and battered the pale invaders, valiantly denying every single dirty, Cobbie finger to even touch one vegetable. Gimsprey was declared the winner of the contest when his opponent’s mug was knocked out of his hand by a wild Cobbie club during the frey, spilling the beer all over himself. He was given a battlefield promotion for his deed and is now a famous lieutenant. He immediately spent his life savings on some shiny armour—a shiny breast plate and shiny pauldrons to match, all he could afford at the time. He buys individual pieces as he is able, attaching them to his existing armour or swapping out individual components. His hope is to have the shiniest set of armour ever seen by the time he becomes a captain and he is well on his way.
On another occasion while guarding a vegetable hold, Gimsprey along with all the knights were playing a friendly game of shields, when another disgusting horde of Cobbies, piled so high they were spilling over the palisade wall, attacked. Everyone scrambled for the gear closest at hand and rushed off to defend the precious vegetables. Surprised and vastly outnumbered, a contingent of Cobbies got their grubby hands on some succulent veggies and made good their escape with only one lone knight able to fight through the crowd and take up the pursuit. It was one of the darkest moments of Gimsprey’s career, even to this day. When the battle was over and the nude, clammy bodies of the invaders removed from the hold and surrounding area, the knights gathered to sort out their shields, but lo, Gimsprey could not find his shield anywhere. Even to this day he has no clue what became of it.
When not on active duty or polishing his armour, Gimsprey goes back home to help his family tend lady bugs as he still has a soft spot in his heart for them.
Gizro Muffinsbuffer
Age: 450
Rank: Sergeant
Weapons: Mace & Shield
Insignia: Molar
Usually found: New Old Town to the Good Garden
The Muffinsbuffer family are bakers by trade and Gizro was following suit until a travelling dentist came to the gnomish kingdom with his dental wagon and opened shop. This fascinated Gizro and awakened in him a lifelong obsession with teeth. After the travelling dentist moved on, Gizro quit baking to become a dentist himself—or as close to one as a gnome can be. As gnomes have rather amazing teeth, Gizro spent most of his time perfecting his practice on himself. From root canals to crowns and removals—mostly removals—he now has all but one metal tooth.
After years of being his only patient, Gizro conceded that gnomes don’t use the dentist and closed up shop, joining the Mushroom Knights on a whim. During his service, Gizro collected and catalogued various teeth from all sorts of creatures he has found or killed in battle and has amassed an impressive collection over the years. His preferred weapon is a mace as it works best at knocking out teeth.
He earned a reputation for himself when one day a travelling circus came to the town he was stationed in and due to unknown circumstances all the animals escaped. The animals rampaged through the town trampling beautiful gardens and terrorizing the locals. Gizro and the available knights quickly rushed to the aid of the defenceless plants and townsfolk. Some of the animals were able to be captured but sadly, to the horror and protests of the trainers, many had to be put down. Many Mushroom Knights were badly injured and two killed as lions and tigers and pandas refused to be recaged. At long last, all that remained was a particularly feisty beaver that gnawed through several spears and fingers of knights trying to subdue it. Throwing down his mace and shield Gizro challenged the beaver to a biting match winner take all. With his many metal teeth, he chewed through a strong sapling tree, but the beaver easily chewed down an even larger tree. Undeterred Gizro found a fist-sized rock and ground it to pebbles but the beaver broke a tooth and chipped another when it bit into a stone. According to Gizro, the beaver honourably accepted defeat and permitted itself to be caged. It even allowed the knight to take his broken tooth as a trophy. News of his feat spread through the town and nearby villages and he has become a local legend in Greenwater. His commanding officer was also very impressed and Gizro was promoted to sergeant after his feat. Using his dental skills, Gizro made the beaver a replacement tooth out of gold and the two have since become good friends—at least that is how the gnome sees it.
In recent years, Gizro met a travelling artist selling his paintings and has taken up oil painting. He exclusively paints pictures of his favourite types of teeth and imaginary teeth he thinks look awesome. He really isn’t very good at painting and it would be best for all if another hobby catches his interest soon, as he likes to display his pictures in the local garrison without asking for permission.
Hedgerow Shrubrunner
Age: 521
Rank: Captain
Weapons: Human Broadsword
Insignia: Wolf Head
Usually found: Southforkington to the southern border
Hedgerow comes from a family of enthusiastic shrubberists, who were so enthusiastic in fact that they named their first born Hedgerow. But it is at least better than his younger brother who they named Shrubbery.
After serving in the Mushroom Knights for 230 years, including 25 years in the illustrious Carrot guard, Hedgerow left the gnomish kingdom hoping to fight alongside human knights and learn new fighting techniques. After being brushed off by several companies, he was finally taken on as a mascot by a group called the Red Wolf Company far from gnomish lands. The first time that the company fought, Hedgerow joined in the battle, surprising both friend and foe at his skill and effectiveness in fighting soldiers twice his stature after which they dubbed him Sir Hedgerow the Brave. The soldiers had a set of armour of the Red Wolf Company made for him in his size, which he wore proudly. They also gave him a matching broad sword that he wields two handed like a claymore. Though he never held any official rank or title, he served with the company for 100 years watching many of his new friends die in constant, brutal warfare.
Eventually the company was attacked by several large forces and all but destroyed. A small few including Hedgerow were taken prisoner where he learned, to his great surprise, that the Red Wolf Company was actually an outlaw mercenary gang. The night before they were all to be publicly executed, Hegrow’s remaining friends instigated a riot and helped him to flee down a small culvert. When he had made good his escape he returned to Gardonia and is now back serving with the Mushroom Knights. He heads the “advanced armed opponent training” elective class for third year garden defence school. When not teaching at the school he likes to patrol along the southern border fighting off bandits and highwaymen and has saved more caravans and merchant gnomes travelling to the human lands than any one besides captains Gizbeak and Torgrim.
Hedgerow’s greatest feat is reeling in an enormous fish believed to be the Great Guppy itself that swallowed King Wilcog many, many years ago. He fought the brute for two days straight, but the line finally gave out and broke as it was nearing the dock and it got away to the disappointment of the large crowd who had gathered to watch the spectacle. During the exhausting two-day fight, the giant fish leapt out of the lake so many times that it technically met the “five minutes out of the water” requirement to officially take the record of largest catch and release, so it wasn’t all a loss. When not on duty, Hedgerow likes to spend his time fishing off the docks of his home village of Blue Leaf Falls.
Unbeknownst to Hedgerow, he still has a bounty on his head in several human lands to the south east.
Poffo Slugshucker
Age: 410
Rank: Lieutenant
Weapons: Hand and a half Slug Shucking Knife
Insignia: Vanquished Slug
Usually found: Leafy Green Flats
Poffo’s great, great grandpappy had the brilliant idea of seeing just how much could be made out of a slug and its various bits and found: it was a lot, and to this day the family slugshucking business is going strong. Really quite disliking slugs and the family trade, Poffo was elated when his parents had another child. Unable to wait for his brother to grow up and the family business to pass to him, Poffo joined the Mushroom Knights when his brother was just old enough to take over his duties.
Some years later, when the Great Slug Invasion rampaged through the Leafy Green Flats the Northern company was called upon for reinforcements and resignedly Poffo knew he couldn’t escape destiny. Before his company set out for the eastern border, Poffo had the Northtown blacksmiths build him a sword fashioned after a slug-shucking knife. Along the southward march he gathered ingredients to brew a simple yet effective family recipe goo thinner for himself and his squad mates to apply to their weapons before battle. When they arrived on the front, Poffo dispatched countless slugs and snails with proficient and utter disdain. His success saw him given a battlefield promotion to sergeant and his squad sent wherever the fighting was fiercest where he proved instrumental in turning the tide of many battles. At the Bruzbeeg farm south west of Cabbageford, where lay the region’s prize lettuce measuring seven feet in diameter, his squad linked up with the remnants of a faltering defence that was in the midst of abandoning the giant lettuce to the slugs. Rallying the disheartened Mushroom Knights they made a last stand though sorely outnumbered by a larger force led by the slug host’s champion. The battle was terrible to behold and really gross, but for every Mushroom Knight lost five slugs died with their black and yellow guts oozing out making the battlefield a slick, sticky mess. When the slug champion bore down on the small group of defenders in an attempt to break their line and desecrate the lettuce, smothering the other squad sergeant in its charge, Poffo found himself the last hope for the prized leafy vegetable and once again knew destiny had led him where he was meant to be. Embracing his fate and mustering all his dislike for slug kind, he let out a loud cry as he rushed the brute. Feigning left he dashed right, slicing a great swath in the fiend’s side, with the slug-shucking skill to make his grampy proud. He then then pivoted and lopped off one of the sticky beast’s eyes as it curled around for a counter attack. The champion broke off and retreated leaving a trail of black goo in its wake. The Knights pressed their advantage and hewed down many more slugs before the remnant finally broke and scattered. The knights pursued the mollusks, cutting many down as they fled. Victory was theirs, dozens of slugs lay dead and the prize lettuce and many crops saved. That day was a turning point in the war as news of the victory at the Bruzbeeg farm spread throughout the whole front, boosting morale.
When the war was finally over, Poffo was promoted to Lieutenant and given his own slug task force, which he really didn’t want, yet courteously thanked command for. He was also bestowed the Carrot of Honour as well as presented with a shield bearing an image of a vanquished slug on it designed by none other than famous artist Lugford Beanhoffer, which he begrudgingly accepted with a forced smile.
In his off time, Poffo does what makes him most not think about slugs and snails, which currently is learning a human dance called Polka, he is self-taught and is trying to incorporate some signature moves to give the dance a more gnomish flavour.
Torgrim “Ironscales” Smith
Age: 382
Rank: Captain
Weapons: Axe & Shield
Insignia: Crab
Usually found: The Bluish Lake region or patrolling south of Southforkington
Torgrim Smith, better know to his peers as Torgrim Ironscales, was captured by Gnome Mongers when he was a wee gnome baby. He along with his parents were snatched up as they were travelling to Benfurn to buy fancy curtains that were on sale for their new home in Carrot Valley. He never saw his parents again and has no memory of them.
Torgrim was sold to cruel, old owners far to the west by the sea where he was kept in a cage and poked at with sticks, only ever being referred to as Gnome, which he grew up thinking to be his name. His owners never taught him to talk but he picked up a few words here and there. As his cruel owners were really quite old, they eventually died and Torgrim was passed to one of their relatives. His new owners, the Smiths, were very kind and would let him out of his cage to play in the garden. Even though he had no gardening experience, Torgrim possessed an innate love for growing things and a natural talent for tending plants and the garden thrived under his care. The Smiths taught him to talk and built him a little house in the garden to live in.
One day sea raiders attacked the coastal village killing the Smiths and taking him captive. He was kept on the ship as a slave, being treated cruelly for the next 15 years. During his time in the ship, he learned all manner of ship craft and sailing and became hardened and salty. Then one day while raiding a village, the crew was attacked by another crew of raiders. There was a fierce and bloody battle and in the end his entire crew were slain. The few who were not killed outright in the battle were brutally butchered and Torgrim was taken as a prize by the other raiders. His new crew was even more cruel and more murderous than his previous crew, but Torgrim was able to find opportunities to showcase his sailing skills and eventually was given a lowly place among them.
No longer a slave, the sea raiders taught him how to fight after their ruthless fashion and brought him back a child’s size coat of mail one day after a raid on a neighbouring village. He was to begin accompanying them on their raiding excursions come spring, but on that first voyage a fierce storm came up. The ship was smashed apart on some rocks and the entire crew lost. Torgrim survived floating all night on a barrel and washed up on shore in the morning. He wandered until he found a fishing village and eventually made his way to a larger city where by luck he met a travelling gnome merchant couple who told him all about their homeland. He travelled with them until their trading was done and they would be returning home, becoming fast friends with them.
Late one evening as they were pressing on to a village inn, they were waylaid by bandits along the road. Torgrim fought them off but not before his merchant companions had been killed. Continuing alone, Torgrim made his way north towards Gardonia. When he arrived in the gnomish homeland at the age of 63 he felt like he had found a place where he finally belonged, though it took him a while to adapt to gnomish customs. When the long lost gnome arrived in Gardonia and his tale known, he was told that the name “Gnome Smith” was not very gnomish. He was given the name Torgrim Ironscales after the unique iron scale armour he wore, but he opted to keep the last name of Smith in memory of the family that was kind to him long ago.
Knowing only hardship and fighting Torgrim joined the Mushroom Knights as soon as he was of minimum recruiting age and is known for becoming the youngest knight to achieve the rank of captain. He has taken up residence by the Blueish Lake as it reminded him of the seaside village where he lived with the Smiths, though he misses the smell of salt in the air and the little crabs on the beach.
As the raider’s lifestyle was fast paced and usually short, they took wives young, stealing them during the raids. When Torgrim decided it was time to find himself a wife, he rowed a small boat across The Blueish Lake to Zucchini Beach to grab himself a gnome maiden. After a successful venture, Torgrim learned that that was not the proper way of things in the land of the gnomes and he returned the shocked young maiden back to her home, whereupon she proposed a proper gnomish courtship when they were of suitable age.
Torgrim has no hobbies, but finds spending time in gardens calming and relaxing. Having the most comprehensive knowledge of ship-craft among gnomes he offered helpful advice in the construction of the Wheel Ship, which while spending almost all of its time on dry ground is in fact quite seaworthy mostly on account of him.
Kogwin Stoneculler
Age: 354
Rank: Sergeant
Weapons: Two-Handed Hammer
Insignia: Squished Bug
Usually found: Wherever giant bugs can be squashed
Kogwin loves squishing bugs—but just the bad ones. Ever since the time when he was a wee gnome playing garden with his friends and he crushed a Green Lettuce Tunneler beetle with a rock, he has had the itch to squish all manner of creepy crawly pests. Soon he had made himself a crude hammer from a stick, a rock and a piece of twine and would patrol the family garden. Then when he was a bit older he patrolled the gardens of his neighbourhood in Barleyville, dispatching many a six and eight legged plant plaguing creature. Everyone in his village knew Kogwin was destined for the Mushroom Knights and were not at all surprised when he enlisted.
Now with over 150 years in The Order and the rank of sergeant, Kogwin wields a large two-handed hammer that suits his passion admirably. Kogwin is always looking for bigger and badder bugs to pummel and has earned himself the name The Barleyville Crusher, when returned to his hometown and single-handedly hunted down and slew a giant grasshopper that was devouring whole wheat and barley gardens.
Kogwin has been credited with killing many of the large bug specimens displayed in the Kingstown Hall of Deeds including the Barlyville Hopper, The Blue Widower—a very large specimen of Blue Recluse that killed several woodsgnomes in the fall of 3466 near the village of Carrot Valley—and Doom Wing, a giant cabbage moth plaguing the Leafy Green Flats. It was really a joint effort, Captain Grassstalker who was hunting it for his personal butterfly collection, crippled its wing with a bolt from his crossbow sending it crashing into a cabbage patch where Kogwin delivered the telling blow that grounded it for good. After the pummelling the specimen required extensive reconstructive work before it was sent to Kingstown and displayed in the hall of deeds.
Recently, during the Third Termite War, Kogwin fought his way into the nest of massive termites and ended the reign of Borgra, Queen of Termites, accidentally setting fire to the nest in the process. He is credited with the squishing, though there were no witnesses to the deed and the crispy remains of the queen termite crumbled to ash as they were being collected. His one regret is that he was on vacation at Blue Leaf Falls when a giant, gnome-snacking preying mantis named The Red Mantis was tracked down and brought to justice. The credit for that one goes to Captain Gizbeak. There were so many pieces of it when he was done that it couldn’t be reassembled and there is a painting of it in the hall of deeds instead.
Kogwin is one of the largest and strongest gnomes in the Order and possibly the kingdom itself and has an impressive record in the GAWC (Gnomish Arm Wrestling Circuit) with a 78-5 record the best one in the history of the sport. When not on active duty or arm wrestling Kogrun likes to write poetry under the handle A.E. Heartwrite.
Beardslow “Stumpy” Spudlock
Age: 836
Rank: Captain
Weapons: Sword & Shield
Insignia: Kitten
Usually found: Leafy Green Flats
The Spudlock line have been potato farmers near the Taterton area from as far back as they can remember. They also have a history of serving in the defence of Gardonia and Beardslow is a fourth generation military gnome from a line of distinguished Mushroom Knights. In fact his great, great grampy was even an influential figure in the Potatoe Brigade militia group before the Mushroom Knight Order existed.
Beardslow has had a very long career in the Mushroom Knights. He is a veteran of veterans holding the rank of Captain, with 710 years of service and over half of that with only one leg. He joined the order when he was 122 years old, the same age his father and grandfather joined when they were young gnomes.
Stationed primarily in the Leafy Green Flats region in the East he defended many a garden from all manner of crop nibblers. One fateful day when leading a patrol, Mrs. Mozelbruff from the nearby Mozelbruff farm came running up in a panic calling for help. A half a dozen Dire Bunnies had begun to congregate in the field just outside their carrot patch and they were starting to become aggressive. When Seargent Beardslow and his fellow knights arrived there were over a dozen agitated Dire Bunnies gathered near the gate and more hopping out of the nearby grass. A frenzy was starting to take hold. Seeing they would be needing more soldiers quickly Beardslow sent his two fellow knights running off to the two closest vegetable holds to summon reinforcements while he monitored the situation. It wasn’t long before the foremost bunnies began chewing and pawing at the gate, the frenzy had begun. Others quickly joined in on the gate assault, desperate to get through to the carrots and beyond, as more large white bunnies continued to hop out of the grass. Beardslow stabbed through the gate with his spear wounding several bunnies, but soon the wooden shaft was bitten in half and the spear destroyed. Beardslow drew his sword and readied his shield, the wooden gate was fast being gnawed to splinters and starting to bulge under the pressure of the now two dozen and counting bunnies pressing up against it. The top board cracked and broke and a long eared head poked through the opening. It was severed in a deftly dealt stroke and dropped to the ground rolling off to the side. Another head struggled through and was met with a similar fate. The bottom board cracked, Beardslow took a few steps back, set his shield in front of him and charged the gate just as it broke asunder driving into the bunny swarm and pushing them back. His sword slashed and stabbed as his shield held back wave after wave of Dire Bunny throwing themselves towards the broken gate, but Beardslow refused to yield. When the Mushroom Knights reinforcements finally arrived Beardslow was laying on his back in the gateway, surrounded by carnage, still fighting while bunnies chewed at him mercilessly. The Knights charged through the broken gate and into the frenzied beasts and Beardslow was dragged away from the battle. His right leg was chewed to the bone below the knee and his leather armour was in shreds, a minute longer and he would have been beyond help. But as it was, not one bunny had made it past the gateway and not one carrot had been lost. The fight was fierce but the Mushroom Knights finally took the day slaughtering the entire host of Dire Bunnies with very few casualties. Beardslow was promoted to Captain after his heroic stand and awarded the Carrot of Valour.
Not wanting to retire from active duty or the order itself, Beardslow requested an artificial leg and the Mushroom Knight’s T&T division put their best on it, creating for him a metal replacement with modifications specifically for fighting Dire Bunnies. Beardslow was nicknamed “Stumpy” after he returned to active duty and has gone by that name ever since. While recovering from his injuries Stumpy took up drawing pictures of kittens in trees, something he continues to this day when he is not on active duty.
Gustopher “Guzzy” Thornsbane
Age: 503
Rank: Captain
Weapons: The Thornsbane Two-handed Axe
Insignia: Vine with a thorn
Usually found: Northtown area
Guzzy joined the Mushroom Knights following in the footsteps of his grandfather—a hero of the Great Thorn Uprising that saw him given the surname Thornsbane because of his great deeds in the battle. Joining the Mushroom Knights when he was of age Guzzy worked very hard to keep the honour of the Thornsbane name. He is a natural leader, skilled with many types of weapons and very brave on the battlefield.
After much hard work, Guzzy eventually earned himself the rank of Lieutenant. When his grandfather retired from the order, Guzzy inherited his legendary two-handed axe that he had used to slay the Mother Vine itself during the Great Thorn Uprising, which earned Guzzy a promotion to Captain.
He soon found the opportunity to put his new axe to good use when trees in the town of Hazelmere seemingly came alive one morning and began attacking all who came close. Many gnomes were either unable to leave their homes or unable to get back inside them. With mighty swings of his axe, Guzzy led the counter attack, laying low many a strong tree, spilling their sap onto the green grass while others came behind limbing the knotty plants. His prowess with the legendary axe was so unstoppable that many trees gave up the fight when they saw his amber and green stained blade and became still. The few who refused to yield soon found themselves bound for the wood shed. When Guzzy reached the ring leader, a massive oak with swift limbs and a broad truck, he single-handedly faced down the giant, ducking and dodging swinging branches or cleaving them straight through whilst dealing chop after mighty chop to the stout trunk. The tree fell with a terrible crash and the remaining trees all ceased their mischief and became calm. The trees of Hazlemere have not caused trouble since. Whenever various plants seem to gain a consciousness of sorts and begin to act strangely and lash out, they cease their misbehaving when news that the Thornsbane axe is near at hand is passed along through root and vine.
Guzzy was one of the brave knights chosen to attempt the circumnavigation of the evil, corrupted pit of Donglemore in 3453. The expedition was unsuccessful in completing the circle, but long lost gnomes who have survived in the harsh northern land after it had been abandoned over 1000 years earlier were discovered. The land is plagued by terrible creatures and the now wild gnomes are estranged from their southern kin. Guzzy was instrumental in keeping the encounter peaceful as both groups were exceedingly suspicious and wary.
Being a gnome of impressive strength and stock, Guzzy has joined a local wrestling club and is making a name for himself in the little known gnomish wrestling world when not on active duty.
Gizbeak Trufflefuffer
Age: 625
Rank: Captain
Weapons: Sword & Shield
Insignia: Ladybug
Usually found: Anywhere
Gizbeak comes from a line of truffle foragers and farmers. The Trufflefuffer family took their name after the Great Mushroom Blight of 2581 that swept through the land virtually ending the mushroom growing trade and destroying many mushroom houses and forests. During the blight, his family developed a well guarded technique of fuffing truffles that has seen them become the most successful truffle mongers in the kingdom even to this day.
Gizbeak joined the Mushroom Knight Order when he was 124 for no other reason than he likes helping out a fellow gnome. He has become one of the Order’s most famous and accomplished heroes and champions being a gnome of many great and brave deeds, but very few words. Gizbeak has developed his own unique fighting style that is fascinating to behold, with a few signature moves no gnome has been able to duplicate with nearly the grace or effectiveness. Having Gizbeak amongst the ranks is always a moral booster, and young knights strive to be like him.
Not many years after joining the order, while still a First Year Knight, Gizbeak saved the king’s honour during a potentially embarrassing situation during the of signing of a trade agreement near the south border. The king’s tall crown caught the top of the tent entrance way and fell from his head taking with it his underhat, but a quick acting Gizbeak tackled the king to the ground hiding his unhatted head from the eyes of the delegation within until the underhat could be placed back upon it and his crown recovered. The very grateful king put the trade negotiations on hold until he had seen the valiant knight promoted to sergeant for the deed.
Gizbeak received a promotion to lieutenant after he single-handedly chased down a thieving band of Cobbies who had sacked a vegetable hold near the hamlet of Corn Hall. While all the stolen veggies were sadly defiled by the clammy hands of the dirty creatures, they were all recovered to the last and buried with full honours, and the culprits dealt with before they reached their den.
Gizbeak was promoted to captain for his role in halting the Great Furgol Raid of 3126. He, along with a hastily gathered band of Mushroom Knights, faced a superior host of rampaging Furgols, during which he faced down and slew a giant, ruthless Furgol champion in single combat. The fall of the champion turned the tide of the battle and saved the village of Carrot Rock. It is one of the only occasions where a greater Furgol host was defeated by a lesser host of Mushroom Knights.
After his promotion to captain, Gizbeak has taken mostly to wandering the lands alone in search of gnomes in need or threats to the kingdom. He has an uncanny ability to unexpectedly show up at opportune times and save the day. He spends a lot of his time patrolling in the south of the kingdom and along trade routes where many bandits and highwaymen harass and rob gnomish merchants and traders, though he does seem to pop up all over Gardonia.
If he wasn’t already famous enough, Gizbeak’s most renowned feat occurred quite recently. It happened the day he found a 300 lbs sausage laying on the side of the road which he consumed in one afternoon. When his incredible deed was discovered a parade was held in his honour in Kingstown and he was carried into the city as a conquering hero. He was laid up on one of the king’s couches in the palace for quite some time, but as soon as he was able to fit back in his armour Gizbeak was back out wandering the land.
When not on active duty or wandering around Gizbeak enjoys hanging out with his two goldfish, Knuckles and Earl.
Gizbeak is the only knight to have risen through the ranks completely through promotions due to his outstanding deeds. He is also one of the very few knights to be awarded every medal the order has to offer, some more than once.
Rogzbit “The Gardner” Vinterbeeg
Age: 502
Rank: Lieutenant
Weapons: Spear & Shield, two Short Swords
Insignia: Crossed garden fork and trowel
Usually found: Pebbly Plain
Rogzbit is the son of an herbsmith originally from the village of Collard Stones. When he was a young gnome his parents couldn’t afford to put him in Growler Ball and he was reluctantly placed in Rock Dodge instead. Rogzbit grew to be the best Rock Dodge player in town and his parents had high hopes of him joining the regional team one day. In 3102 when the suddenly awakened Furgols attacked his village and razed it to the ground Rogzbit and his family survived only by the brave actions of a lone patrol of Mushroom Knights who held off a host of hairy brutes long enough for most of the villagers to flee, though sadly they themselves were lost. The memory of gardens being carelessly trampled with their broken stems and bruised leaves still gives Rogzbit nightmares to this day.
His family moved to Rosemary Flats to restart their lives, but Rogzbert felt the urge to join the Order to protect gardens everywhere from hostile tramplings. He proved to be a stalwart and capable soldier requesting duty near Furgol territory when he graduated from Second Year of Garden Defence School. He served faithfully for many years earning the respect of his peers and superiors.
When the Great, Great Furgol Raid of 3179 rampaged across the Pebbly Plains Rogzbit was part of the resisting army and eager for vengeance. During the terrible battle with the brutal, furry foes he eventually found himself in the midst of a ferocious fight without spear or shield welding only a broken sword. Desperate for a weapon, he spied some farmer’s abandoned garden tools and was soon armed with a trowel and a garden fork. His dormant Rock Dodge skills were suddenly awakened when he found himself having to avoid the enemy attacks instead of blocking with a shield and parrying. His speed and agility developed from years of Rock Dodge gave him an edge over the mighty, yet slower swings of his opponents. Dodging and darting in, he took quick stabs at the unprotected gaps in the Furgols thick, heavy armour. The first Furgol he fell was a long drawn out fight as it was all reaction with no strategy but by the battle’s end he had really developed a knack for his new style of swift combat and learned the most damaging spots to strike, felling six of the hairy foes himself. During one of the most tense moments of the battle, when the Mushroom Knight line was breached and the leading captain along with a handful of knights surrounded, Rogzbit rallied together some leaderless squads, leading a charge that broke through the Furgol ring and saved the life of the captain and knights. His feat was awarded with a promotion to sergeant and he was given the nickname “The Gardner” by those who watched him fighting with the garden implements.
After the invasion was thwarted, Rogzbit had the garden fork and trowel reforged into matching stout short swords, naming one Furbreaker and the other Furraker. He took up the fork and trowel as his personal emblem. Aside from a metal helmet taken from a fallen fugol champion and modified for a gnome, Rogzbit wears all leather armour as it allows him to be more agile in battle, and wields a sturdy buckler instead of a full-size shield.
Rogzbit commissioned a painting of the fork and spade he fought with which was masterfully rendered in stunning likeness by the renown artist Lugford Beanhoffer and it hangs above his mantle in Carrot Rock. When not on duty, he has taken back up Rock Dodge to keep his speed and skills sharp and is even trying to start a league within the Mushroom Knight order.
Several years later during a friendly bake off with some fellow knights, Rogzbit accidentally mixed up some ingredients and baked the tastiest cake that he, the judges and the other competitors had ever eaten. He not only won the bake off, but earned kingdom wide recognition for the feat and was promoted to lieutenant on the spot. The legendary cake has never been successfully replicated, but tales told by the judges have gone far and wide, causing many mouths to water at the telling and inspiring delicious daydreaming. After hearing about the tasty pastry the king himself commissioned a sculpture of the famous cake by the gnomish grandmaster sculptor, Durmon Van Tomatello which sits larger than life in the kingstown hall of deeds.
Tugrass Wrangletoad
Age: 333
Rank: Sergeant
Weapons: Short spear, light mace & several knives
Insignia: Frog
Usually found: Patrolling between Hazlemere and Southforkington
Tugrass Wrangletoad is a backwater gnome born and raised in the sparsely inhabited swampy lands of the South Carrot Mires. He grew up hunting Bellow Toads in the marshes learning the craft from his Grampy. They would travel to small villages to trade the legs and hides for vegetables and other supplies unavailable in the swamps.
On one of their village trips, a squad of Mushroom Knights was in town investigating the disappearance of a young gnome girl believed to have been taken by a swamp fiend, or more probably a very large Bellow Toad. Tugrass volunteered to guide the Mushroom Knights through the swamp in their search as they were unaccustomed with the ways of the Mires. Tugrass skilfully led the knights through muck and reeds, skewering a swamp rat along the way with which he made a toad lure. Coming upon a set of rather large toad tracks, he followed them to a deep reedy pool. He set the lure near the shore then stood motionless, poised to strike with his sharp frog stabbing stick in an upheld hand and a small frog slicing knife in the other, while a frog clubbing stick hung from his side. The Mushroom Knights hid behind some reeds and waited. After twenty minutes or so, a rather large set of eyes broke the surface of the water and stealthily made their way to within striking distance of the lure. The toad was lightning quick as it lunged at the bait but Tugrass was lightning quicker. He hurled his stick into the frog’s side and then leapt onto its back brandishing his frog knife. The giant frog did a back-flip and disappeared into the murky waters with Tugrass still holding on. The Mushroom knights broke from the cover of the reeds running up to the edge of the pool to watch the roiling water. Finally everything became calm and up came Tugrass struggling to shore with the giant frog in tow. When the creature was up on the bank Tugrass began harvesting the legs and skinning the brute. When he was done, the Mushroom Knights with pinched noses, reluctantly cut the butchered frog carcass open and to their sorrow found a gnome skeleton and a purple gnome hat. With heavy hearts they returned to the village with the sad news—only to find the village in joyful celebration. While they had been out hunting in the swamp, the little gnome girl had come home. She had gotten lost on her way to her grangrans cottage when she left the road chasing some pretty swamp pixies. She survived by eating frog eggs and swamp beets and eventually found her way home. No one else had been reported missing and who the bones belonged to remained a mystery. The giant legs and skin fetched a fine price and Tugrass made ready to go home, but the Knights, being very impressed with the gnome’s skills, told him he would make an excellent soldier and convinced him to visit the recruitment booth in Southforkington one day.
Eventually, Tugrass left the swamp and found that there was a whole world outside the swamps. A civilized, not soggy world with all sorts of things to see and do. Tugrass is very skilled with a spear and finds their metal tips to be much more effective than a regular old sharpened stick, though he uses one much shorter than the standard Mushroom Knight issue. He holds the all-time record for the Bunny Skewer event in the Mushroom Knight Games, completing it so quickly the judges had him do it again, where he took two whole parsnip nunches off of his already record breaking time. Tugrass impressed the crowd and the judges so much they chanted for a promotion, which his superiors obliged to give him. He didn’t win the games, but he walked away as a sergeant so that was pretty good too.
Tugrass is the first gnome in his family line to join the Mushroom Knights and the first to leave the swamp in over five hundred years. He still visits from time to time to hunt frogs with his grampy and to earn a little extra produce.
Tugrass can skin an average sized Bellow Toad in under 30 seconds, which is really quite impressive.